You.

I dont like the word hate I dont at all. Its a very strong word but in this moment and the more I have time to ponder my thoughts I do, I do hate you.
I had given you my heart to keep or break not only that but I was living with you and I felt whole for once i frigen felt alive in the sense of I was responsible. All Ive ever been told is I cant, and that all im ever going to amount to is what my birthfather was, nothing, an alcoholic, daddy said "the apple doesnt fall far from the tree." In the three months I wasnt home I got good grades, got a car, had freedom, paid bills, and attempted working on freedom. It took a month of you breaking my spirit for me to crack, for me to not be able to look at myself in the mirror to break down on the bathroom floor at work, to do what I didnt want to do and call my dad and ask to move back home. 
You dont know what its like to have a family that you cant look at, a family you cant confide in, a family that hurts you emotionally. Why? because you were blessed with one you can speak to, and you take them for granted, you took me for granted. So now Im home again in the house that only speaks of "you cant" and "you did this wrong" and Im sinking and all I can think is I hate you, because I had balance you helped me with that but once again its just a mother fucking letdown. 


I hope you choke and karma bites you in the ass, I hope I get out of here soon and I get that feeling again the one of freedom the one where I had someone y my side and I felt invincible cause I didnt have my parents breathing down my neck telling me what a disapointment I was, I cant wait to feel that again..and sometimes I miss the good summer days but you kicked me to the curb thinking it was for my "own good" Youre just like them..