Driving yourself up a wall

ello ello

So im invincible cant be touched dont want anyone near me. Yes I realize the dangers of my disorder at times. Yesterday I was driving consisting off a string cheese and some redbull and cigarettes for the day. I was on S turns driving to pick up my friend for school and my chest started shooting pain again, on top of that I couldnt feel my hands I was also spacing out and just lightheaded and dizzy, it occured to me hey I could def pass out while driving maybe pull over I waited it out till I got to my friends and just chilled out. Im eating enough for my heart to not be giving me problems no?

guess not...since as I fucken typed that left side chest just spazzed...im gonna spend my day sleeping for now and get up in a little and actually do something fun...

Last night I had several good moments I tried actually letting my gf in just a little although I was like...scared I attempted and it was nice and frightening wrapped in one. At the same time another friend made me realize there are times its okay to just let go and trust and certain people to do it with...my non trusting mind is getting a lesson.

loveeess

me