Poems

Still still I try, try to think

Kind thoughts of you

and then I stop and wonder why

actions speak louder than words

ad the actions were lacking

nonexistant just like intimacy

the fear clung to my body the way you did not

I stepped into the equation with

fear as my being

pleaded just spare me if hurts

what youre seeing

but did you

no

So tell me now how didnt I know

know the pain that was coming

that numb that would hit me like fucken novacaine

so numb im biting my own lip

I cant feel it

but i want to

when that shit wears off

thats when it happens

when you realize the

pains unbearable..

Your games confuse me

even ore then I confuse myself

everyone makes mistakes

but you, your eyes sparkle @ the

thought of attention

that is not one mistake

the sad thing is I know

I know I deserve more looking

in the mirror hatred staring back

but still i realize it..

I have her

I have her right in front of me

but yet im fighting myself

still trying to give you the

benefit of the doubt..

but why?

when I myself never never got that much

not from myself not from you

worthless selfish empty pathetic

the feelings rise in my chest

and bleed accross my bones

not in love with you in love with the past

with what ws

with what will never be again

choking on the pain i cant even feel

this is how this is your damage

this is what youre capable of

but youll never know

youre too busy shattering hearts you know are as

thin as eggshells

you choose your

victims

but youll never

feel

the pain

the numb..

its winter all the time

I like the first one way better